These boots don't fit and neither does the t-shirt
Hand me downs don't stretch out, they only make my feet hurt
My brother is a hero and a plumber, not a teacher
He's spent half his life chasing a princess through the ether
Leaving me in charge of the family shop
I had no one to help me, that's the reason that it flopped
'Your brother this', 'your brother that', another mushroom in his cap
Well if my brother is so big, then why he is so short and fat?
I ponder that - among other things
Like why is he the only one getting kissed on the cheek?
I did my part, helped him murder helpless turtles
But there's only enough respect for the one who jumps the final hurdle

It's hard enough to be
The brother of a plumber
So imagine me, Luigi
Looking at the stars above us
Knowing they're outside my reach
Treated as a constant bummer
It's hard enough to be
The brother of a plumber

I can't move away - no matter how much I dream
Our motion is capped by the length of the screen
I'm not just in his shadow, at this point I'm the bulk of it
He's constantly juiced, which leaves me feeling like the pulpy bits
He may have wrote the book but I'm the one that bound and published it
Somehow deemed unfit for all this being seen in public shit
He's loving it - watching me carry the L
It's affixed to my hat so I've no choice but carry it well

It's hard enough to be
The brother of a plumber
So imagine me, Luigi
Looking at the stars above us
Knowing they're outside my reach
Treated as a constant bummer
It's hard enough to be
The brother of a plumber